#fitspiration

#Fitspiration: I could use some this week! Here are my current thoughts:

1. I want to be skinny enough to feel comfortable in my own skin. On my weight loss IG account, I follow a lot of people who are, like me, trying to lose weight. So many of them, like me, are unsure of what their "ultimate goal weight" will be. Many of them say they'll stop when they feel healthy.
   
   It's been a long time since I've felt comfortable in my own body. I remember being at a college football game six years ago, wearing size eight (in juniors) shorts and a youth size large jersey, and I felt good. I still felt inadequate compared to some of the girls who were baring more skin, but I remember thinking my legs looked nice, and my shorts fit right, and I wasn't self-conscious about how many beers I was drinking because I was thin enough that other people wouldn't think twice about my calorie intake.
   
   Six years ago. I can't wait to feel that way again, and I'm positive that I'll be even more confident because I'm six years wiser, too.
2. I want to be obviously fit so that people won't question my strength or athletic ability.
   
   I've always been proud of the fact that I am able to run a few (slow) miles no matter my weight. I had an unfortunate conversation with a colleague recently that made me realize I just don't look fit. It went something like this:
   
   Me: Hey, I'm thinking about doing that bike ride to the Keys in November!
   Him: REALLY? (Insert shocked face here!!!) You know it's two days of straight riding, right?
   
   I'd like to never repeat that moment again.
3. (This one is downright cringeworthy!) I want to wear leggings as pants.
   
   Sometimes I picture myself twenty pounds lighter (okay, 30...) wearing those cute fitness leggings with bright, colorful patterns and prints - maybe the cosmos, or whatever. And I also picture myself wearing leggings with a sweater (one that covers my butt, of course) and cute boots in the winter.
   
   Yeah...Skinny Me is going to wear the hell out of some leggings.

How To Survive An Existential Crisis

I am experiencing what people in the first world commonly call an existential crisis. I am simply existing, living without meaning. Just going through the motions. And I'm disenchanted by it all - my job, my friends, my city, my future plans (or lack thereof)...

My all-time favorite blogger, Sarah at Yes and Yes, once wrote about the effectiveness of (literally) writing yourself a prescription for happiness. Her idea was based off of a 2009 study that showed that people are more likely to stick to a diet or exercise plan if their doctor actually pulls out a prescription pad and pen and writes out a detailed plan, rather than simply saying, You need to eat healthy and exercise. So she wrote herself a prescription for happiness, including action items like spending time outdoors and buying expensive out-of-season fruit every once in a while.

Anyway, Sarah reminded her readers of the original post this week, and, well, the timing was nothing short of magical for me.

I'll be celebrating (?) my 28th birthday on August 29th. I've been desperate for a pick-me-up. And now I have a plan!

Below I've outlined my own prescription for happiness, and I'll spend the month of August following through. First I wrote out the prescription itself, and then below each item, in bold, I filled in my specific plan. I may or may not blog about it as I go, but I am committed to recapping my experience at the end of the month, at a minimum.

1. Plan a vacation. Escape, literally. Even if it's just for a few days. And make it something relaxing, not busy. This is probably not the time to plan a ten-day, seven-city European excursion (but if that sounds great and you can afford it, go for it!).
   
   This plan is not 100% set in stone yet, but I believe I'm escaping to the Smoky Mountains, with my siblings and niece/nephew, to celebrate my birthday. Perfection.
2. Update my resume. At first I thought maybe this action item is just specific to me because I'm unhappy at work, but after some reflection, I've decided it's a good practice for anyone who hasn't touched their resume in years and is looking for a confidence boost.
   
   I will update my resume. Which means I'll mostly be adding things to it. Exciting!
3. Exercise daily. Because I really regret that workout, said no one ever. (Insert any cheesy line about exercise and endorphins here.) I know it will make me feel better in the short term and also reveal some long-term results.
   
   This one is a bit bold, but I'm an all-or-nothing kind of gal when it comes to working out. I will exercise Every. Single. Day. during the month of August.
4. Clean and purge. I don't know about you, but having lots of stuff makes me feel unorganized and chaotic. So let's clean our homes. And trash/recycle/give away stuff we don't need or use.
   
   This Saturday, folks. It's on.
5. Read a new book, or watch a new (to you) television series. Another means of escape, I guess. It just sounded like a fresh idea.
   
   Instead of watching New Girl or The Mindy Project from start to finish again, I'll investigate a new TV series. And read a few books.
6. Appreciate the little things. Sometimes I neglect the little things that make me happy because I'm too busy/lazy/whatever. Like ignoring a beautiful sunset because I'm watching sitcom reruns on Netflix. Or cooking dinner in silence instead of playing my favorite music or listening to NPR because I'm lazy. Or not buying a $3 Starbucks beverage that would cheer me up because I'm cheap.
   
   This month, I will watch the sun set. And I'll play music while I cook. And I'll buy the $3 latte, damnit.

What would be on your prescription for happiness?

Daydreaming...

 

(Asheville, North Carolina)

Summer reading list

I read more in the summer than I do throughout the rest of the year. I'm not sure what's up with that. Maybe it's just permanently instilled in me that fall and winter and spring are for school-mandated reading, and summer is for reading for pleasure.

Also, I recently discovered Goodreads, and I'm in love.

Anyway, here are a few books I've read recently:   

Who didn't read this in 2014? A tragic teenage love story. I thought it was good, but not great. It was an easy read - I read it on a three hour flight - but I wouldn't call it light. The themes were heavy, but it wasn't so moving (IMHO) that I cried the whole time. 3 out of 5 stars.

I enjoyed Attachments and I look forward to reading more of Rowell's novels. I din't exactly fly threw this one, but the main character was relatable to me (despite being a man) and I cried happy tears at the end. 4 out of 5 stars.

A Dog's Purpose is the best novel I've read in quite a while. (Pro tip: Must love dogs.) I was moved to tears multiple times, but it was such a sweet, hopeful story. I liked it more than The Art of Racing in the Rain (another good book written from a dog's point of view). 5 out of 5 stars!

Next, I'll read:

How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran
Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar by Kelly Oxford
Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt
another novel by Rainbow Rowell (Fangirl? Eleanor & Park?)

What are you reading this summer? (Respond in the comments!)

Crossed an item off my bucket list...

"Wanna pack your bags, something small

 Take what you need and we disappear

 Without a trace we'll be gone, gone

 The moon and the stars can follow the car

 And then when we get to the ocean

 We're gonna take a boat to the end of the world

 All the way to the end of the world"

-DMB

A list of all the people I hate today

I'm in a pretty foul mood today. I'll spare you an entire rant, but I did come here to make a list of all the people I hate today:

• People who abuse the "Reply All" option
• People who struggle with brevity
• People who don't respond to my emails, particularly when I've posed a question and am expecting an answer
• Naturally skinny people, especially naturally skinny people who pretend like they have to work really hard to stay fit
• Friends who seemingly text everyone else all the time, but are often short with me
• People who constantly comment on the fact that I'm single, especially those who are in seemingly shitty/inconsistent relationships

The end.

On Weight Loss

I've lost over 10 pounds since I started writing here regularly. In fact, at one point, my intention was to make this blog a place where I could document my weight loss journey (ugh...I hate that word, but it is what it is). Maybe you were already stopping by when I posted my weigh ins a few times. But I quickly discovered that I didn't actually have much to say, and if I slipped up, I would just go silent for a few days/weeks until I was back on track. That's obviously not the consistency I'm looking for in weight loss or blogging!

Besides, this little blog of mine is therapist-ordered, and I don't think she meant I should document my food and exercise.

My weight has yo-yo'ed throughout my adult life. In hindsight, I can link periods of weight loss to specific "deadlines" I'd set for myself. (Example: I lost over 25 pounds before a family vacation to Hawaii.) I can link periods of weight gain to times of distress - break ups, traumatic events, etc. - but I was not self-aware enough during those times to realize I was engaging in self-destructive behavior (eating too much, drinking too much, and avoiding exercise). 

I've worked really hard to become more self-aware over the last few years. I've spent a lot of time on intentional self-reflection, and I've done some work in therapy. I also think self-awareness is something that comes naturally with age. In regards to losing weight, I'm feeling particularly motivated this time around for several reasons: I'm panicked about being so close to 30, my ten year reunion is this fall, and I'm focused on my overall health rather than vanity alone.

I know just over ten pounds isn't that serious, but it's enough for me to reflect upon (and share) what's working for me:

1. Privacy. This journey of mine is a private one, and I'd like to keep it that way until I'm healthy again. I am ashamed that I've let myself get to this point. I have at least 40 pounds to lose. When I'm active and eating right, I'm prideful, but not arrogant or pretentious. But the fact that I've been proud of my healthy lifestyle in the past means that I'm embarrassed that I let myself slide for as long as I did. My parents and some select friends know that I'm actively trying to lose weight, but it is not something I broadcast on social media, or to my coworkers. I've sought out accountability elsewhere.
2. A structured program. (In my particular case: Weight Watchers online.) I have tried to lose weight using free tracking apps (MyFitnessPal), and by just being mindful of what I eat and not tracking at all. But I am a person who craves structure, so naturally, WW is helpful for me. I feel like my day is incomplete if I don't track everything, so I usually do. Also, I know I'm paying for it, which is some bonus accountability for my frugal self. Finally, on WW, fruit and vegetables are "free", which encourages me to eat more produce (definitely a necessary habit for a vegetarian like me!).
3. A secret Instagram account. (Yep, right after I told you that I don't broadcast this journey on social media, I'm admitting that I track my food and activity through IG photos. This account is public, but still anonymous. I still maintain a separate personal IG account so that I can continue to post photos of my dog.) There is a wonderful community of people on Instagram who are trying to lose weight. They are sharing recipes and ideas, admitting when they've fallen off the proverbial weight loss wagon, and encouraging one another. It's a beautiful thing. I've been posting my food and workouts on this account for less than three weeks, and I'm blown away by these strangers and their kindness.
4. A boring social life and lots of alone time. Seriously. This is unfortunately a winning combination for me. I have a hard time sticking to the plan in social settings. It doesn't help that most of my friends have terrible eating habits. So I eat at home a lot. And I limit my alcohol consumption to a few times a week. It sucks sometimes, but it's working.
5. Celebrating non-scale victories. It's easier to stay motivated if I'm acknowledging and celebrating changes that aren't necessarily reflected on the scale. For example, I used to always say that I don't like pie/cobbler/fruity desserts because "fruit and dessert just don't belong together". But now I'm eating (whole, nutritious, non-pie) fruit for dessert often, and it totally satisfies my sweet tooth. Other notable NSVs: clothes fitting looser, my face looking slimmer, craving healthy foods or time at the gym, etc.
6. Setting smaller goals. I know I need to lose 40-50 pounds total, but the thought of that can be overwhelming, so I try to focus on smaller goals. For instance, I hope to lose three more pounds in time for my vacation in early July. And I'm trying to work out at least three times each week.

So, there you have it. I probably won't blog about this often, but I'll be sure to share my progress again at some point. Hope this helps someone out there in blogland!

Dear Fellow Millennials,

Please stop humble-bragging about being busy. I am not impressed that you worked long hours today/this week/forever. Work smarter, not harder.

"Summertime and the living is easy" is a quote that you should attribute to the late/great ELLA FITZGERALD!!! Not Sublime.

Enough with the overalls. They'll never be cool again, and they flatter no one. Let's leave them in the '90s where they belong. (Same goes for throwback daisy and sunflower prints.)

And finally... Stop staying "I can't"/"I can't even". I'm assuming that this awful trend started when someone was trying to say "I can't even begin to explain/I can't put into words how I feel", and I have one thing to say about that: YOU CAN. Use your words! That's what they're for, after all.

With love,
LL

Father's Day

Father's Day is truly one of my favorite holidays. I always end up a little bit emotional before the day is over.

I was (am) quite lucky to have a loving, giving, cheering dad around. I don't let myself take that for granted.

Seeing so many happy posts about awesome dads makes me think about what my future partner will be like as a father.

And lastly, it's a bittersweet reminder of my Papoo. May he rest in peace.

Soul Searching

I don't want to talk about work too much on here, short of occasionally poking fun at some corporate office stereotypes that I encounter, because my job is boring. I mean, I mostly enjoy it, but trust me, you'd be bored if I posted about it regularly.

I don't talk about my work with friends much, either, except for friends who are coworkers. I feel bored when my friends talk about their jobs a lot, too. (Most of my friends are teachers. Is it just me, or do teachers LOVE to talk about work?)

Anyway, I am a middle manager at a large insurance agency. (See? Boring.) I like my job because my specific role really plays to my strengths (teaching/training/coaching/etc.), I have a lot of flexibility, and I love my coworkers. But it has become clear to me over the last few months that this is not a forever fit for me. It's hard to be a woman in this industry. It's equally difficult to be a bleeding-heart liberal in this anti-Obamacare, for-profit world. But the bottom line is, try as I might, I cannot find it within me to be passionate about commercial insurance.

I had a hard time coming to terms with this for a few reasons.

First of all, I graduated from college in 2007 with a social sciences degree and graduate school in 2010 with a communications degree. I didn't do any internships or have any semblance of professional experience. I was an overeducated server. Translation: I had a difficult time finding a job. In fact, the memory of my last experience looking for a job takes me back to a dark time in my life. And thinking about leaving the company that took a chance on me makes me feel a little bit guilty. These people have been good to me.

Mostly, though, I just don't know what I want to do next, which feels both overwhelming and too familiar.

I'm more of a jane-of-all-trades than a master of one. I've always been that way. I don't really have any spectacular passions or talents (short of being a gifted speller, which (1) we've already discussed, and (2) as it turns out, is practically useless). As a kid, I wanted to be a veterinarian or a meteorologist. But, you guys... science was so hard! In high school, I wanted to be a journalist. In college, I wanted to be a teacher for a while. Then I thought I'd work in publishing. And then I decided I just wanted a cushy government job in communications. And thennn I thought it'd be fun to work in communications or development at a museum. (Still sounds fun! But jobs are obviously limited.)

But there were so many roadblocks. And here I am, working in insurance. Oh, life.

I'm not planning on leaving my current job anytime soon. Until then, I'm doing a little soul searching and focusing on getting more involved in the community so that once I am looking, I'll have direction/possibly some options.

Lower case letters in therapy

Today's topic: therapy. 

First, let me summarize why I'm going to therapy. I was involved in a very scary car accident in October. After the accident, I experienced anxiety on a level with which I was unfamiliar. I have been seeing a therapist regularly since January. I am suffering from and being treated for post-traumatic stress disorder (which is another post for another day).

(For what it's worth, I don't believe that identifying a "why" is a prerequisite for therapy. If you want to go, you should go!)

I am "little d depressed", as my therapist would say.

In therapy, the lower case letter is used as a tool. For me, it gives me perspective. It separates the bad from the ugly. I've experienced trauma and I've experienced Trauma. I don't think I've ever been Depressed. But right now, I am depressed.

What this means for me personally: I sleep more. I hibernate, basically. Nothing sounds more appealing to me than a night in, with Netflix or a good book, avoiding responsibility and human interaction. I rush through my to do list each day so that I can be at home, by myself, as soon as possible. When I have plans, I make an exit strategy before I even show up. I feel less emotionally engaged with... everything.

This usually lasts for a few weeks at a time, and it happens several times a year. It is not debilitating. It does not make me question my worth. But it is something that I have to work hard to overcome when I'm already feeling completely drained.

With all of that being said, tomorrow I will hit the reset button and fight my way back to normalcy. Wish me luck!

The love of my mid-twenties life

(Note: I wrote this yesterday and saved it as a draft instead of publishing. KB's birthday is June 1. Oops!)

I'm still not sure who rescued who. Happy 4th birthday, sweet boy!

You had me at the proper use of "You're"

You know what's newsworthy right now? Spelling. So that's what I want to discuss today. (Grammar and punctuation, too!)

Let me explain why I'm passionate about this issue.

Some people can paint or sculpt or design beautiful things. Many people make music in some way, shape, or form. Other people are natural athletes.

I am a gifted speller.

Growing up, I excelled at reading and writing. (Math and science are hard, amirite?) By middle school, I'd declared that English was my favorite subject, and that never changed. My freshman year of high school, I took my first journalism class, and my writing style evolved. I basically ditched everything I knew about creative writing and 3.5 essays (anyone remember those?) and never looked back. I learned how to be concise. I learned how to tell stories. Most significantly, I learned how to proofread.

Thirteen years later, I've got a Master's degree in Communication, and we all have to deal with social media and a 24-hour news cycle and information overload in general.

WE HAVE SPELL CHECK EVERYWHERE NOW, and still it seems like nobody can spell.

This is a flawless example of a "which came first?" causality dilemma. Maybe we've always been mostly atrocious at spelling and grammar, but it's painfully obvious now because we communicate through typed text so frequently. Or maybe as technology advances, we rely too much on spell check. I don't know.

Here's why I think you should care:

• Being a good communicator is important in your personal life. Do your due diligence so that your loved ones don't have to expel energy translating what you're trying to say.
• Being a good communicator is important in your professional life. For example, as a hiring manager, I notice typos/errors on resumes and cover letters. I also judge a candidate's ability to communicate effectively based on brief email communication and a quick scan of his/her social media profile(s).
• Your children are basically creepy little versions of you. Studies show that if you read, they'll read. If you exercise, they'll exercise. So I don't think it's a stretch to assume that if you don't care about spelling, they won't care either.
• Spell check sucks. (As does auto correct.)
• People who take the time to care about spelling and grammar will tirelessly poke fun at you and your errors behind your back.

Let's make proofreading cool again.

Related: How well can you spell? from WaPo

My Birchbox Favorites

(Based on my limited knowledge of blogging, I think I'm supposed to say that this post is not sponsored. I'm not that big of a deal.)

I've been a Birchbox subscriber for nearly a year. My sister-in-law bought me a (full year!) subscription as a thank you gift for hosting her baby shower. I used to say it was an intriguing concept but not something I'd pay for; however, based on my experience, I will absolutely pony up $110 next month to continue receiving my monthly box of joy.

From the Birchbox site, in case you're unfamiliar:

"Birchbox delivers high-end beauty, grooming, and lifestyle samples once a month, customized just for you."

I love health and beauty products. I especially love to tell people about my brilliant finds. (Lucky you!) I'm not sure that I'll review every product each month, but I plan on sharing my favorite products with you here.

Over the last year, these are the products I've loved:

via birchbox

1. COOLA Classic SPF 30 Cucumber Moisturizer for Face: I should probably admit that I didn't actually buy the full size version of this product ($32), but I would if I wasn't actively avoiding the sun this summer. It isn't thick like my usual sunscreen (I'm looking at you, Neutrogena) and it smells divine. Like a very specific fancy spa I've visited before, but I refuse to name drop. If you're looking for a smooth everyday sunscreen, this is the stuff. If you aren't wearing sunscreen daily, shame on you.

via birchbox

2. Juice Beauty Green Apple Peel Sensitive: Okay, I haven't purchased the full size version of this one either... YET ($39). I've made the sample last for several uses. I have relatively easy skin, but it is sensitive, especially to peels. I love how my face feels after using this product and it doesn't bother my skin at all. I used the sample (0.25 oz) four times, so I know I'll get to use the full size (2 oz) product enough to make it worth the price.

via birchbox

3. Color Club polishes: I'm always excited about new nail polishes. The first Color Club polish I received from Birchbox was the green one in the image above. I like it, but prefer the colors in the Gala's Gems collection (I ordered the set of four minis, $13). I'm not blown away by the quality of Color Club polishes (I usually buy OPI or Ulta), but I do enjoy the colors. Also noteworthy, I got a sample Art Duo pen in my May box and I haven't tried it yet, but I have high hopes!

4. KIND Healthy Grain Bar: I received the Maple Pumpkin Seeds with Sea Salt bar in my March box and I've been trying to find it in stores ever since. I'm about to order them in bulk off of the KIND website. (I've tried the Dark Chocolate Chunk and Oats & Honey flavors, too, and like them both... but pumpkin seeds are my jam!)

via birchbox

5. Sumita Color Contrast Eyeliner: I don't have any interest in the "color contrast" idea behind this product, but I have always had eye-crease-smudge problems with eyeliner on my upper lids and this is the best solution I've found so far. I haven't had to replace my black sample yet, but I will ($11).

via birchbox

6. Stila lip glaze: This has long been a favorite of mine, but Birchbox sent a sample my way and it deserves a shout out. My sample was called "Cupcake" (pictured: "Fruit Punch"). Hate the cutesy names, but love the subtle colors. Lasts long enough for me. (But full disclosure: I'm not big on lip color.)

via birchbox

7. Benefit Big Easy: *Life-changing product alert!* I didn't get a sample of this, but I did find this product through Birchbox (on Instagram, @birchbox). I love Benefit's products. This BB cream is perfect. I traded in my MAC foundation and powder for this. It's the perfect amount of coverage for my skin type and taste. ($38, lasts ~3 months with daily use)

If you like to give super generous gifts (like my sweet SIL), Birchbox is a great gift idea for any friend who loves makeup/skin care products. It's definitely one of the coolest presents I've ever received.

If you are interested in subscribing or gifting a subscription, feel free to use this link.  :)

A Tuesday Rant

I am downright baffled when someone I know has agreed to become a salesperson for a multi-level marketing scheme.

Once or twice a year during my childhood, most of which took place during the '90s, one of my mom's friends would excitedly tell her about a new business endeavor, which inevitably meant my mom would host a party at our house, provide finger foods and punch, and invite her other friends to come see what's for sale this time. Throw in a few last minute cancellations, and pressure for those who did in fact attend to purchase at least one product, and you've got yourself a proper Tupperware* party.

Or, as my dad lovingly referred to them: A Rape Your Friends Party**.

Today, the company names have changed, but the pyramid scheme, take-advantage-of-your-social-network concept remains the same. Stella & Dot. Scentsy. Origami Owl. Passion Parties. Thirty-One. And my own personal favorite, Rodan + Fields.

Let's spend some time on Rodan + Fields...

I am, to some, a beauty product junkie. I'm a Birchbox subscriber, and I can't leave Ulta without spending $100. (ULTA : ME :: TARGET : STAY-AT-HOME MOMS) So when I was first invited to a Rodan + Fields party, I was intrigued. The party was on a weeknight at a friend's house back home, so I couldn't attend in person. Instead, I asked the R+F consultant to let me browse the website; maybe I'd purchase something anyway (and in typical female guilt fashion, I wanted to be sure that if I did in fact buy something, my hostess friend would get credit toward whatever discount/free shit she could get out of dragging her friends to her party).

I'll just cut to the chase here and say I was disappointed to find that the skin care line I was interested in purchasing was $193.00. I have easy skin. It's combination, but easy to manage. Now that I'm in my late twenties, I get maybe ten pimples per year. I use drugstore products to remove my makeup, clean my face, and moisturize. So I decided to ask a friend who uses R+F before I committed that much money to a new skincare regimen. Here's how that went:

Me: Hey, do you like your Rodan + Fields products? I'm thinking about buying something but I don't usually spend that much on skincare.
Friend: I liked it at first, but I'm not totally sold. You actually just reminded me that I want to cancel my subscription.
Me: SUBSCRIPTION?!?!?!

Seriously. As it turns out, the product I was interested in would cost me $193 per MONTH. (Or maybe it was every two months. But, either way! Wow.) Dollar amount conveniently deducted from my checking account and product delivered to my door step.

After I collected my jaw from the floor, I sent the R+F consultant an email and politely/succinctly declined. But I have so many unanswered questions about this nonsense! How did someone convince her that this was a lucrative business opportunity? Does she actually have friends that can afford to pay that much for skin care? If so, where did they meet their rich husbands? (...I'm half kidding.) If people are willing to pay that much for skin care, should they consult with an actual dermatologist first? Or at least a licensed esthetician?

Side note to anyone who might be tempted to defend Rodan + Fields: I am not questioning the quality of the company's product offerings. I'm sure the products are lovely, and I am aware that Ms. Rodan and Ms. Fields are practicing dermatologists. I am speaking to the company's marketing and business model. And price point. Because I'm cheap frugal.

I could go on forever about how Facebook has made this worse for my generation that it ever was for my mother, but I'll stop here. My point is, even though my sample size is limited and my observations are strictly qualitative, I can only think of one person who has made a respectable living as a salesperson for one of these businesses. She was an acquaintance of my mom, and she was not exactly well-liked.

Thankfully, all of my friends have real jobs.


*Other '90s substitutions: Creative Memories, Pampered Chef, PartyLite, Mary Kay, etc.
**My dad is kind and generous and ultra conservative. He would be appalled if he knew I tell people this story because he cares too much about what other people think, but it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard him say, so I'm sharing it.

On Pescetarianism

Last April (2013), I took a few days off from work to recover from a cold. I was so miserable that I spent hours and hours on the couch mindlessly watching Netflix. I've always been interested in well-produced documentaries, so I browsed the list and decided to watch Forks Over Knives.

The premise of Forks Over Knives is quite simple: We are sick, and we can prevent/reverse many of the common chronic diseases we face by significantly reducing the amount of animal products and processed foods that we consume. The filmmakers put food as medicine to the test, and the results clearly show that we should adopt a whole foods, plant-based diet in order to stay healthy/improve our health.

Cool. I didn't put much serious thought into it. On to the next documentary.

A few days later, I was standing in the office parking lot, serving food to the staff at an employee appreciation cookout. Hamburgers and hot dogs, along with some venison sausage that my boss had killed himself.

When it was our turn to eat, I was thrilled to find a box of frozen veggie burgers in a cooler. Suddenly it dawned on me that I hadn't consumed meat since watching Forks Over Knives a few days earlier. And, really, it just kind of stuck.

I'd be lying, though, if I pretended like I quit eating meat strictly for health reasons. The truth is, I've always been a bit bothered by the idea of eating part of a cow, or a cute little pig or deer. The meat production process is gruesome at best. I've never been able to eat a piece of meat in scenarios when I was able to identify who killed it. I'm an animal lover. So, for most of my life, ignorance was bliss.

To be clear, I'm a pescetarian, not a vegetarian or vegan. I still eat seafood. I can't explain why seafood bothers me less than land animals from an ethics perspective. But I do know that seafood is generally much healthier. I also eat eggs and dairy, but I only buy cage-free organic eggs, and I buy organic dairy when I can.

I'd be lying, too, if I said I haven't cheated, but I can count on one hand the times I've intentionally consumed meat in the last year. (Curious about the exceptions I made? Thanksgiving, Christmas, a spicy Chick-fil-A sandwich three days after Christmas, and bacon once at brunch with friends.) I know that I've had green beans prepared with bacon a time or two. And I'm sure I've had rice or beans prepared with chicken or beef or pork stock, but I do my best to avoid it.

It's kind of funny to say that I made this change partly for health reasons and then say that I don't necessarily eat healthier now, but it's true. I didn't lose any weight over the last year. I've found that it's harder to make healthy choices when meat is not an option. I eat seafood about five times a week - if I eat it more often than that, I get tired of it. So I've had to make a conscious effort to include plenty of other protein sources in my diet. I eat a lot of beans, nuts/nut butter, Greek yogurt, eggs, cheese, soy, leafy greens, and whole grains. All of these things are fine in moderation, but admittedly, I eat too much cheese. And too much peanut butter.

Here's what I don't like about pescetarianism: I don't like explaining my dietary decisions to strangers. I don't even particularly care for discussing it at length with friends. I don't like to inconvenience my friends or family (for instance, if someone invites me over for dinner).

I don't want to be too preachy, but since you've made it this far, I want to wrap it up by adding one more thought. I've done a lot of research on this over time, and I can tell you that nearly all signs point to plant-based diets and the elimination of processed foods. Additionally, protein is essential to our diet, but we eat too much of it. Extra protein will not help you build extra muscle or make you stronger. If you're consuming extra protein, you're probably taking in more calories/fat than your body needs.

House of Cards on Grief

"Grief demands an answer, but sometimes there isn't one."